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Saw Avatar Sunday with my buddy Cheeto Taylor. We went to the IMAXX in Estero and had to wear these big 3-d glasses.

Cheeto thought it was the coolest thing ever because he never took off his Oakleys the whole time while he wore those stupid 3-d glasses.

I normally don’t review movies but this one was special, especially because I paid $20 for a ticket!

Anways the movie was really good even though it was longer than the  line at Circle K when they mark down Moon Pies!

The blue people are flat-out nuts. They have hair that hooks up with plants and animals, they are forty feet tall and the woman have small titties.

I would have loved to seen Predator come out the Tree of Dreams, or whatever it was called, shooting his cannons at the chick from Alien.

You can’t hide from the Predator Sihorny Weaver!

Spolier Alert—They all die!!

Just kidding!

I can recommend this movie but make sure you take a dump and a piss before you walk in the movie because it as long as our dinners at Sonny’s all you can pulled pork night.

Adios!

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Everglades Winter

 

Sometimes in Florida it gets colder than shit! Last night a cold front came through it got down to 40 degrees in the Everglades

Thankfully my wife, Harley Tucker, is huge and she just laid on me all night so I stayed warm. 

I thought at first she wanted to do a little up and down tango mamba if you know what I mean? 

She really was just trying to get to my Big Gulp of Mountain Dew that I have on the side of my bed and fell asleep reaching for it. 

Poor old girl loves her some Mountain Dew but damn near suffocated me. Think she bruised my ribs and maybe shattered my spleen. 

I have no damn idea where my spleen is or what it does but something hurts in my ribble area. 

Anyways, I am going to see Avatar this weekend with my buddy Cheeto Taylor so that should be interesting. 

Hopefully it ain’t some Hollywood preaching story about what a horrible human being I am. 

Anyways this has been Ronny Tucker saying “Half price milk ain’t all it’s cracked up to be”

Luanne Platter

I love you!

 

RIP Luanne Platter!

She was pronounced dead at the age of 32 years old from cardiac arrest.

How the hell does a 32 year old die of cardiac arrest? I hope the cops are looking real hard for Buckley or Rad! I know one of them boys was in on it!

Luanne, your sweet voice will be missed by millions of your fans.

There will never be another like you and there never should be because they broke the mold when they made you!

Luanne also played the voice for Brittany Murphy.

God I am going to miss those red spandex!!

Ace Toe Nail Clipper

  

Howdy! This is Ronny Tucker with HillbillyHygiene.com with this weeks product review of “Ace For Men Toenail Clippers”   

My belt sander busted last November when I was trimming my nails and so I was excited when my wife, Harley, gave this to me last Christmas even though I did not think they would work.  

Before my wife gave these clippers to me my toenails looked like a mix between driftwood and concrete that was painted yellow.  

For my entire life I have not been able to use normal nail clippers but these clippers actually cut through my toenail so much that it sent them flying across the room.  

I think one of my toenails actually went through the screened front door.  

It was like I was throwing redneck Chinese Stars with my feet.  

One of the toe nails got stuck in the wall so we just used it to hang a glamour shot of Harley with a bucket of Popeye’s chicken.  

I don’t know what looked more delicious…..the bucket of chicken or the drumstick that was stuck underneath her 3rd chin  

Anyhow if you got Dinosaur toenails like myself give this a try.  

Just remember that you still have to sand your toenails down after you cut them or you’ll cut your shoes off your own feet.  

This has been Ronny Tucker with HillbillyHygiene.com saying “Toenail’s ain’t supposed to be as thick as phone books”

Sweet Feet Chocolate Tea Foot Syrup

 

Howdy! This is Ronny Tucker with HillbillyHygiene.com with this weeks products review of “Sweet Feet Chocolate Tea Foot Syrup Foot Soak”

Yes this stuff is real and gets my old lady hot! My old lady makes me use this stuff almost every other night! She actually loves to pour the Syrup in a five gallon bucket and mix in some marshmallows and peanuts. She gets my feet going pretty fast by using a certain technique that I can’t even write about.

You can read between the lines I hope!

Anyways, once she is done giving me the old hookedyadoo and my feet have mixed up the syrup, marshmallows and peanuts, she then eats em right off my feet!

My feet are constantly brown from chocolate stains but I really don’t give a damn since I wear long tube socks.

My wife, Harley Tucker, is a big woman and has no problem eating……a lot!

She loves eating.

I love what she does to me when she is eating it.

I highly recommend this to any guy who has a big woman who is not afraid to do whatever it takes!

This has been Ronny Tucker of HillbillyHygiene.com saying “Feet and BJ’s (Wholesale Club) are a good thing!”

Burt's Bee Grapefruit and Sugar Beet Shampoo

Howdy fellas! This is Ronny Tucker with this weeks HillbillyHygiene.com mens product review. This week I am reviewing Burt Bee’s Grapefruit and Sugarbeet Shampoo.

Where do I start with Burt? He seems like an alright guy since he looks one of my favorite wrestlers of all time Hillbilly Jim!

Man, when him and his whole family including Uncle Elmer and cousin Luke would come out to “Don’t Go Messing With a Country Boy” I would throw my cereal bowl across the room and start square dancing. My momma thought I was insane since I was by myself but what an inspiration he was!

Back to Burt Bee.

I will make this one pretty easy for you and my spell check button.

I would like to ask the men a question.

Do you want your hair to smell like Grapefruit and Sugarbeets?

I didn’t think so! Go buy some Pert!

This has been Ronny Tucker with HillbillyHygiene.com saying “Free don’t mean free unless you are drinking out of a lake”

Billy Jealousy Liquid Sand Exfoliating Facial Cleanser

Howdy fellas! This week Hillbilly Hygiene will be reviewing “Billy Jealousy Liquid Sand Exfoliating Facial Cleanser”.

I love this product if I wanted to bathe in SAND!

I know why people are jealous about Billy. It’s because he is a marketing genius! To be able to call your soap SAND instead of what it really is and that’s DIRT! Change his product name to Liquid Dirt and see how many he sells.

I think he knows the answer to that one….. and by the way if you are scrubbing your face with wet dirt you probably are going to look like a mix between Freddy Krueger and Brother Love with a splash of Sloth from Goonies! You just ain’t going to look normal…..you just ain’t!

Let’s talk  about the product a little bit. There is nothing wrong with trying different things in the shower but washing with dirt shouldn’t be one of em.

I thought we were smarter in America!

You shower and bath to get rid of dirt but if you wash with dirt you never get rid of dirt. Doing this is like taking a dump with your underwear on. It’s gonna get ugly!

Don’t buy this stuff and if you really want to give it a whirl go out in your yard, put some dirt in a bucket, pour a bottle of soap in it and fill it with water and dump on it on your head. Saved you $20!

This has been Ronny Tucker with HillbillyHygiene.com saying “Pork, Pork and more Pork!”