Getting crazy at the Vo-Tech
Life started to get really fun for me when I started at the Vo-Tech. I studied Engine Assembly and really worked hard at it. The class was two semesters long and the first semester is how to dissemble an engine. I kicked ass at that and was at the top of my class.
Now mind you the top of the class was being #1 out of 5 people and one of them was in a wheelchair. I guess he got into some kind of accident with a Sarlo push mower when he tried to mow over a couple concrete blocks in his yard. He was a good dude but looking under the hood wasn’t his speciality if you get me.
Bullshit Red Tape
Life was going good and then a bunch of bullshit red tape got in the way of my engine building success. When 2nd semester started up they wanted more money and I couldn’t pay them so they kicked me out. That sucked because I can take an engine apart quicker than my wife can spend $10 at Dairy Queen but I haven’t the slightest idea of how to put the engine back together.
To me it just didn’t make sense to kick me out for not paying. I offered many solutions to our problem like washing everyone’s trucks for a month, wearing a sign on body and direct traffic into the school for their $2.95 oil change and lube special. Man, I racked my brain for hours trying to figure out how to stay there but the powers to be at Vo-Tech weren’t having it.
So I got the boot!
The One Thing They Can’t Take Away
I still hold the record for the fastest dissemble of a 1982 Thunderbird ever recorded at Everglades Vo-Tech! Suck on that one future Vo-Tech Engine Disassemblers! Ronny Tucker set the bar so high that no one will ever reach it and I don’t give ashit if you pole vaulted in high schooll. I also got a kick ass trophy that was about a foot tall and had engine parts spread out over a fake brass floor.
I was never really able to use that trophy to get a job as an engine disassembler because no one wanted someone that could only take apart an engine. If that shit happened today I could probably sue someone for discrimination or something.
You know it all happened for a reason and I was able to start another learngin experience called Plankton Castnetting.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot! When I was in Vo-Tech I saved Julie Simpson’s, no relation to Jessica (trust me), life at the Liver and Onion’s 100! I can’t believe I almost forgot that!
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